Dont start no shit, wont be no shit

Dear Chanel

This isnt really a relationship problem i'm having. More like, i'm trying to get myself out of a situation so I wont have ANYthing to do with this person anymore. I started talking to this guy about a month ago. He's not a celebrity but he has close friends who are celebs in the music industry, so he kinda stunts off of there status. We met at a club event and i found him very attractive so i chatted him up. From the event, we went back to a hotel for a hotel party, and i stayed the night with him. Nothing happened at night but in the morning i woke up to him tryin to fuck me. I told him i wasnt about it and he needed to try again with the next chick. He didnt sweat it and passed back out. A few days later he hit me up again and wanted to take me out to dinner. I agreed. We ate, drank and went back to his place. Once again, he tried me, and once again i told him it wasnt happening. A few days after that he took me shopping and to breakfast and basically asked me to be with him. I hav NO clue where this came from!!! I told him all im interested in is frendship and maybe dating, but right now, i dnt want a relationship or casual sex. Since then, i havent seen him cuz i dnt want him getting the wrong idea. But he keeps calling and texting me. How do i deal with this?


OKAY. Welp. First let me start off with .... o_O

"I have no clue where this came from!!!"

Really?! Naw. That can't be the truth. Let's see. You met this man at the club. You went to his "hotel party"....and stayed over night...in his bed. You let him wine and dine you. And you don't know why he's tryin to get with you? Okay. *sigh* I may not be speaking on the most popular stance here, but did i start giving a hell about that and missed the memo? No? Alright. So then i'll just say it, your mouth may be tellin him NO SIR, u wont be gettin none of these goodies. But your actions are begging to differ. Now, allow me to state that I do not believe that just because a woman says yes to a date, that means the man should expect (or deserve) any type of payback by means of sexual activity. A date is a date dammit, not an invitation to sweat my sheets out. But i do believe that when you START shit...you better know what you're doin and how to finish it. What was the purpose of leaving the club event with this man if you wanted nothing to do with him outside of friendship and an occasional date? Why did you agree to sleep in his bed!? You dont know this man from a can of paint, ma'am. Obviously he was feeling you from jump, and not for any of your intellect status. (Not sayin you're not smart, i'm just sayin it takes significantly less than a brain to get an invite back to the telly *ass & tittites*) Unless you're tellin me that you make it regular practice to become so um..well acquainted and share such personal space with everyone you meet...then you knew what was up long before he tried to put it on you.

Stop playin games. Point blank period. If you dont want to have to get yourself out of these situations, dont get yourself into it. If you already let him know that you want nothing from him, then cut it off from there. Dont let him take you out on anymore "dates", dont answer the phone and dont manage to bump into him again and end up back in his bed. I can almost guarantee you that he wont be so willing to let you play the tease game but for so long...stop it.

Dont say "I DO" if you know you won't

Marriage. Jumping The Broom. Tying The Knot. However you say it, it basically means the same thing. Almost...

Merriam Webster defines marriage as an intimate and consensual union contracted by law.
UrbanDictionary.com [tee hee hee] defines marriage as the number one cause of divorce, a license to fuck [lol!], and something that straight couples have legally but commonly dont want while gay couples don't have it legally but commonly want.

So yeah, it's all one in the same. My partner and I were talking about marriage a few weeks ago, [not like that, don't get excited] and we got on the topic of why most marriages combust in a mess of bitter hatred and divorce lawyers. We agree that it's usually surrounding expectations that weren't met time and time again until one or both people involved just can't take it anymore. I believe this is the reason why. But I think it's such a crock of shit.

I figure if most people buckle under the pressure of extra expectations put on them once they say "I DO"...why are most people still expecting anything other than divorce then?! If and when I ever get married, i'd like to announce that any and all expectations I would have of my partner AFTER we say "I DO" are the exact same expectations I have of her NOW. That way, there wont be any surprises or added pressure which should hopefully lessen the chance of anyone crumbling. I mean seriously, why shouldn't I expect the best of her now? Why wait until after you marry someone to see what they can and can't do?? That's kinda like putting the cart before the horse and wondering why it isn't goin any damn where o_0

And then people love to do the most once they get married. If before the vows, you let it slide when your sig other strolls into the house at 2am with no questions asked...don't get all uptight about it after the fact! Hell, it's the thing to do by then. Complaining and whining 24/7 about everything he or she wont do ever since he or she slid the ring on your finger. Well did u bother to check him or her on it before you signed on the dotted line? No?? Okay well then, u get what u got. I mean, really. I understand, marriage is supposed to solidify the union and make it all extra precious and what not but it seems like if that's the case, and you really take it seriously, you should want to get all [or at least most] of the kinks ironed out beforehand, that way high expectations can already be set and met, paving the way for a smoother [not perfect] ride.

Maybe i'm the only one who can get with this logic...Is everyone else too scared to say wtf they wont tolerate before securing the ring??