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I give my around the way, non-professional opinion about matters of the heart. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much. You be the judge! :-)

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Dont say "I DO" if you know you won't

Marriage. Jumping The Broom. Tying The Knot. However you say it, it basically means the same thing. Almost...

Merriam Webster defines marriage as an intimate and consensual union contracted by law.
UrbanDictionary.com [tee hee hee] defines marriage as the number one cause of divorce, a license to fuck [lol!], and something that straight couples have legally but commonly dont want while gay couples don't have it legally but commonly want.

So yeah, it's all one in the same. My partner and I were talking about marriage a few weeks ago, [not like that, don't get excited] and we got on the topic of why most marriages combust in a mess of bitter hatred and divorce lawyers. We agree that it's usually surrounding expectations that weren't met time and time again until one or both people involved just can't take it anymore. I believe this is the reason why. But I think it's such a crock of shit.

I figure if most people buckle under the pressure of extra expectations put on them once they say "I DO"...why are most people still expecting anything other than divorce then?! If and when I ever get married, i'd like to announce that any and all expectations I would have of my partner AFTER we say "I DO" are the exact same expectations I have of her NOW. That way, there wont be any surprises or added pressure which should hopefully lessen the chance of anyone crumbling. I mean seriously, why shouldn't I expect the best of her now? Why wait until after you marry someone to see what they can and can't do?? That's kinda like putting the cart before the horse and wondering why it isn't goin any damn where o_0

And then people love to do the most once they get married. If before the vows, you let it slide when your sig other strolls into the house at 2am with no questions asked...don't get all uptight about it after the fact! Hell, it's the thing to do by then. Complaining and whining 24/7 about everything he or she wont do ever since he or she slid the ring on your finger. Well did u bother to check him or her on it before you signed on the dotted line? No?? Okay well then, u get what u got. I mean, really. I understand, marriage is supposed to solidify the union and make it all extra precious and what not but it seems like if that's the case, and you really take it seriously, you should want to get all [or at least most] of the kinks ironed out beforehand, that way high expectations can already be set and met, paving the way for a smoother [not perfect] ride.

Maybe i'm the only one who can get with this logic...Is everyone else too scared to say wtf they wont tolerate before securing the ring??


  1. I totally get your logic. I feel exactly. the. same. way. I don't expect my life to change much after I wed my gf. We live as if we're married now and the only difference after the wedding/ceremony will be the extra paperwork and perhaps a rustic decorated broom somewhere in the house (corny I know lol). I'll expect exactly what I expect today in 10 years unless we talk and change some things. But yea, no wonder marriages go down the drain..people change up on each other and then everyone's pissed.

  2. @Retro Right! Ppl kill me with this. Set your standards and expectations high from jump and work it out.